I had my HSG done today. I took the day off, which allowed me to sleep in. I am thankful I got a good night's rest. I showered and we drove to the surgery center. At first I was a little put off, they had these areas for each woman to get ready in that seemed like stalls. It was a large room with curtains separating each person. We all sat there in our wheel chairs and some in beds, usually with the curtain open to see people going by. I sort of felt like a cow in a long line of cattle getting ready to be processed. Once I was in my gown, had my hair back in my smurf hat, and my vitals had been taken, I was wheeled back to see my doctor. The worst part of the whole procedure was the numbing spray. It burned. Felt like someone lit a match and let it burn for about 30 seconds. Then everything was okay. I had some cramping, but as far as physical pain goes, it was really not that bad. I really do have an EXCELLENT doctor. He is phenomenal at what he does.
Unfortunately, as the dye was inserted into my uterus, it just stayed there. My tubes are blocked. This could be from past surgery or up to 15% of women just have a spasm which can cause the test to look like the tubes are blocked. For some reason, I doubt it was a spasm. In case you forgot all that lovely information you learned in health class, the egg travels from your ovary to your fallopian tube where it usually meets the sperm. The two join hand in hand before finding a nice cozy place to set up shop in your uterus. Since my tubes are closed, the sperm is just hanging out in my uterus and my eggs aren't making it to their date in my fallopian tubes.
What next...well, the silver lining on this cloud is that we had the option to for go this test. Had we chosen not to have this procedure done, we would have flushed several thousand dollars down the drain. IUI is not successful if the sperm and egg can't meet up naturally. We now have five options before us: 1.) Have the procedure done again in case my tubes were just in the middle of a spasm, 2.) Do not pass go, do not collect $200, but go straight to IVF, 3.) Go in for my fourth surgery in 12 months, 4.) Move on with life and just spoil my adorable niece, friend's kids, etc., 5.) Adoption.
Ironically, I got an e-mail today that has free adoptions in Colorado. I guess the state really needs help finding families. I would preferably adopt from infancy. The program starts at age 5. It's interesting and ironic none the less.
I would be kidding myself if I said I was ready for another surgery. I'm not. I'm tired of surgery. My last one went really well, but last time they tried to work with my uterus it didn't AND I now have blocked tubes. Even if I opt for surgery, there are some pretty good odds my tubes would scar and be blocked again. The rates for achieving pregnancy after laporscopic surgery are not spectacular.
IVF is an option, it's an option that costs a lot of money. The success rates are fairly impressive, over 70% of couples achieve pregnancy. I go to the doctor again next Tuesday to discuss options such as this. It's a fairly intense process requiring a rigorous schedule of shots, etc. I will be honest, I never pictured my self having to go this far to achieve pregnancy. I thought I might have a difficult time, but never did I think it would be impossible without so much medical assistance. It's a crazy moment when you realize you can't get pregnant. It's not like any other medical diagnosis where they say, "You have X"...it's more of a you have blocked tubes, we need to consider more intensive options discussion. In my previous thought process about getting pregnant, I always imagined the moment to be more shocking. Instead, it was a moment of realization followed by my silence. I don't have questions, I don't have anything to really say about the topic. Instead, I am back to that moment of feeling numb. The suggestion to just relax and it will happen just went out the window entirely. Sure we have a little bit of money for this roller coaster ride, but not THAT much. We had a full plan of attack and that plan of attack just crumbled in under 30 minutes. It's back to the drawing board.
I do have say that our fertility doctor was incredible during the entire discussion. I mentioned that the surgery center I went to today was not covered by my insurance, nor was he a provider my insurance company recognized. This is because they do not cover infertility. He offered that if I wanted my Ob-Gyn who is covered by my insurance to do an operation, he would come and just stand by. He said that 90% of the cases don't fall in to the category I do. I am in the 10% and he would support us through the whole process. He even said he would not charge us anything unless there was a small amount we'd have to pay that wouldn't have been covered anyway. I was amazed at his generosity and offer to work collaboratively with another provider and facility pro-bono. I don't think very many health professionals would be as supportive as he is, we were so impressed with his kindness.
Obviously, no matter what happens or what we decide I will pick up and move on. I will keep marching. This certainly is not the first challenged I have faced in life, although it may be the most trying, and it certainly will not be the last. We are going to pray about it, think about it, talk about it and hopefully decide what's next in the near future. I have a vacation planned for next weekend and thank God for our cruise, it's less than a month a way. I need some time to process everything, shake that numb feeling, and move on with whatever we decide to do. Thanks for all your love and support. I appreciate it more than I can ever express.
