Seasons of Change

Okay, so I felt a little guilty that my last post was so condensed. I have a lot of great things happening in my life and they deserve this moment in glory, instead of just being relegated to a bullet point. So, this morning when I got some news at work, I thought I should write a full blog post on it!


When they hired another co-worker to be the supervisor it opened up a few events. She had one of the largest events in the state and it happens to be in the town my office is in. Since the event is so large, to keep portfolios balanced, she only had one other event. Her other event was local too. I saw this as an opportunity to change my workload, my travel schedule, network with other professionals in the community I work in, and be closer to home! I pleaded my case the Monday after Thanksgiving.

One of the “bosses” didn’t like the idea at all. He felt that I was set up to perform really well this year, which is true. If I kept my travel, my crazy events, and all of that jazz I probably would have earned a small bonus. However, I had to weigh whether it was worth it for me to earn a small bonus or be pretty much off the road. If you know me at all, you know that it’s worth it to me to exchange a possible $2,000 for some more time in the evenings with my husband instead of in a rental car driving down the interstate. So after a few weeks of nothing happening, my new supervisor talked to me yesterday and told me she was going to pitch the event switch. Later in the day when I found out I got a phone interview for another job here, I had to tell her. This is part of the policy and procedure. Naturally, this has the potential to REALLY change things. When she left for her meeting in another town to pitch the switch, I thought she had decided she would not since I had another potential opportunity. I was slightly frustrated, but I could see where she was coming from.

I was totally shocked this morning when she e-mailed me to request a meeting. I met with her and she said she had indeed made the pitch. Even more shocking is that they granted it! I will now go from 4 events, none of which are in town and all at least a 45 minute to over an hour drive each way. I now have one major event that is in town, one other event that is an hour away, and two tiny events that I don’t to a whole heck of a lot for. I will probably have the same amount of meetings, but no longer need a rental car and my commute when the meeting is over is so manageable. Of course this could all change if I am hired for the other job or one of the jobs I recently applied for. We are not telling volunteers until January, so there is wiggle room for other opportunities. Anyway, this is a huge opportunity for me at work. I’m pretty impressed and feel like I should celebrate. I planned cheeseburgers for dinner, but I think I will swing by and purchase a bottle of a new wine I tried.

At Olive Garden a few months ago I tried Lambrusco. It was fantastic and a bottle is under $10! Cheers to me and cheers to you if you go find a bottle and try it!

It's about time...

Well, as an anonymous commenter noted I have not updated in a long time.  I think I have been so absorbed in my own thoughts that I haven't taken any time to publish them! So here is the last bit of time in review...

• My sister came! We had such an amazing visit together! She was such a trooper, shopping, a 5k, cooking, games, and church.  We miss her so much already.  I made her watch me try on most of the garments in my closet, I was actually surprised I didn't have more in my donate pile.  I didn't sleep very well why she was here, I think it was because I was so excited to be with her! Miss you N.
• I mentioned a 5k.  My goal was to shave a minute off my time.  Well, I only shaved 20 seconds off.  I even jogged a little. This course was more challenging than the last one I did.  They didn't mark the distance very well either, so it wasn't until the 2 mile mark (of 3.2 miles) that I knew the distance.  We did get a ridiculous blue shirt with goofy turkeys on it and had a lot of fun. Oh and I got my first "race injury".  It's really comical.  I hurt my big toe on my right foot.  Not sure how I managed that but the whole thing is black and blue under the nail. Ick.  It's so strange.  It's funny to me to have an injury as silly as my toe!  It doesn't really hurt anymore though, which is good because it's almost been a month!
• I completed my ultrasounds for the fertility doctor to make sure I didn't have fluid building up in my blocked fallopian tubes.  Fortunately, everything was clear.  It took an extra week of me being on high levels of estrogen because at the second ultrasound my left ovary was hiding.  J and I have finished our blood work and all of the preparations for IVF, well almost.  We still have to figure out the last chunk of change.  On Saturday we meet with a family member who has offered financial assistance for educational endeavors to plead our case for fertility endeavors.  I am anxious.  I have gone over what to say a million times in my head and I know in the end what comes out of my mouth will probably be far different than what I have rehearsed.  I just pray, pray, pray they agree to help us.  Otherwise our plan to officially start meds in January is off.  Should they agree to help us out, I start pills in January to prep for a February harvest and transfer.  At this point I am trying to limit caffeine, consume a balanced diet, etc. to prepare.
• Christmas is coming...Christmas is coming...This year we decorated more than ever before! We have two Christmas trees up, candy canes lining the walkway, lights on the house, lights on the tree out front, and lights on the railing and light pole.  We even have garland hung in the family room and all of my Christmas snow globes out.  We are officially done Christmas shopping and I have the cards ready to be addressed.  So, what's missing? SNOW! We don't have snow yet.  If there is not snow on Christmas day, it will be the first time in my life I have spent a Christmas without the fluffy white stuff.  I do have to admit, I don't want snow on Saturday.  I really need to talk to the family members who are driving to town, like desperately.  Other than that date, it can snow, snow, snow.
• Since not getting the job at work, I have applied for a few more.  In fact I have an interview on Friday for another promotion.  I was shocked I even got a phone interview, I didn't think I had a chance.  I applied so more people could see what I was capable of! A phone interview is a definite perk!  The other three jobs I have applications out to would all be great too.  We will just see what happens. 

There you have it, a million mini updates in one post.  As I have a little free time over the next couple weeks I will probably post a little more.  Believe it or not, work has been sort of crazy and stressful. I come home and just want to "check out".  Oh and I finish classes for the semester on Friday! Woot Woot! I hope you are doing well. Thanks for hanging in there while I take a blogging hiatus!

For real?

I have heard that the best urban legends are the ones that are almost true, but just a hair off.  That's why people believe them, because they are almost true. Anyway, have you ever had a day where you get a phone call or a message and you sort of hope it's an urban legend? Like everything seems like it could really be happening, but you just hope it's a hair off so it isn't REALLY the truth. Today has turned in to one of those days. Without going in to too much detail, I missed a phone call while the hubby and I were at dinner.  We went out to Red Lobster to drown my sorrows of not getting the Executive Director job in a lobsterita. In case you haven't had a lobsterita, it's a huge margarita. Anyway, I missed a phone call from a family member who had something happening to them (not a life threatening situation or health issue).  This particular instance is not something I have any experience dealing with until now.  Fortunately, I was able to get back in touch with them and talk to them for a few brief moments to make some much needed decisions and plans.  I have now placed about a zillion phone calls and learned more in 20 minutes than I learn in a week of class! Unfortunately, all of this knowledge has not yielded any progress or results. Oh except for talking to one of the biggest jerks I've ever met over the phone. Frustrating.  Very Frustrating. I am now at a point where there is nothing else I can do.

On the Executive Director job I didn't get it because I haven't worked at the company long enough.  Even though I was told I had better communication skills than the other three candidates.  I am very happy one of the candidates has more experience there and the same education, etc.  I can be okay not getting a job when it goes to someone who is more qualified.  I was also not 100% sure I wanted the job. So, life goes on.  I am so glad my sister is coming. I need to unwind. Seriously, unwind.

Good news and bad news

I have so much to update everyone on...so it here it goes:

• I applied for the Executive Director job and interviewed on Friday. The interview went really well.  There are two more candidates to interview on Monday. That afternoon we find out who the top two out of four candidates are. They will get a second interview on Tuesday. The decision is announced on Wednesday.
• I applied and interviewed for another job on Friday. Perfect fit for me.  The pay was terrible though. It would've meant bringing home about $688 less dollars a month! I can't quite swing that.  Even though my happiness is important, I have to way how unhappy I'd be if we couldn't pay our bills.  So I politely pulled my name out of the running.  The lady who interviewed me was really nice and said she wanted to know my decision before announcing second interviews.  I am pretty sure I would've been a second interview. Oh well, life goes on.  I felt good about having a great interview.
• Do you remember the prayer requests I made a few posts ago? One was for a little girl who had and asthma attack and the other was for my dear friend W who was expecting her second child? Well, I have updates on both.  Unfortunately, the girl who had the asthma attack passed away on Friday.  Please, please, please keep her family in your prayers and they grieve.
• Regarding my dear friend W, she gave birth! A beautiful baby girl with a head full of dark hair came five weeks early, but mom and baby seem to be doing well.  I am getting reports from W's mom. So, keep W and baby S in your prayers as well.  Hopefully, I will get to meet her in the near future.
• Speaking of babies in the near future, we had an appointment with our fertility doctor.  The appointment went really well.  I do have another cyst, but it is small.  We are not currently worried about it and it's probably left over from my last cycle.  What they were really looking for was fluid build up around my tubes, right now we have no reason to suspect that is happening! Yay! This was sort of the third series of activities to make sure I was a good candidate for IVF.  J was with me at the appointment and we were able to make plans to get started after the holidays.  It's sort of a long process because there is a period of time where I go on birth control and other meds.  Right now I am taking vitamins, folic acid, baby aspirin and metformin, but in the future I will be adding more to that concoction to make babies! Right now I am just really excited to be moving forward and have so much hope. 
• My last piece of news is that my sister is coming to town! Yay!!! She flies in on Tuesday evening. We don't have major plans set in stone, but we are going to do a 5k, make Thanksgiving dinner at our house, and go shopping!  I actually plan to have a stellar weight loss week while she was here, we have been supporting each other over the phone, but hopefully can be even more support in person.  I have the menu all planned out.  If you don't believe me, ask her for the tentative menu and itinerary I e-mailed her, ha ha. I'm a nut. I know. Oh and one of the other things we are going to do is play the hubby's new game! He produced a test model of his most recent edition of the card/board game.  I am excited to test it out.  He is so talented.  I really did marry an intelligent and talented man, I'm so lucky!

Okay, that's all my mostly fantastic news.  Hope everyone is doing well!

Go ahead, say it one more time...

I am so tired of comments about age. I believe I have blogged about this before, oh yeah, in my last blog post.  Today a co-worker said, "You are too young to be the Executive Director."  I told her I was within 5 years of age of the out going Executive Director.  I have more experience than he did and more education.  I swear at the next organization I work for I will not reveal my age.  Never again.  It doesn't matter where I work now because I am in the database, so anyone who works there can look up my age.  The next place I will NOT ever give away my age.  It's done nothing but cause me stress and heart ache.  I've worked really hard to get where I am, only to be told the reason I'm not qualified is because I was born in a different year. Stupid.

I have a phone interview for another job on Friday.  I've actually been in a better mood this week. As in, I've been more positive.  Work is still really stressful and I'm still uncomfortable when I'm there, but I've at least let go of what I can't control.  It helps having an interview lined up.  I check for jobs every day.  Change is coming and that will probably be a good thing, one way or another.

Just a case of the Tuesdays.

I need out of my job. I had figured out I didn't care for the travel, but when my supervisor announced he was leaving a flood of new reasons came. I am suddenly incredibly nervous about who my new supervisor will be. They announced an internal hire. Sure, I will apply, but I don't even know if I want the job. It would mean more travel. Not to mention the fact other staff have been here longer, I know they would resent me. As it is, one staff has already started treating everyone differently. I don't like it. We had a long conversation today about the position and she just kept asserting how she was a better fit for it and then finally said she'd be upset if they hired me. I already knew she'd be upset, she didn't need to say it. I don't know if it was meant to be intimidating or manipulative, but either way that's not the sort of person I want as my supervisor. I had already decided there were staff that if hired, I'd be on the quickest train out. I now feel like I should consider joining the quickest train out asap.


I think my conflicted feeling about this situation stems from others feeling like I am some how inadequate. I know I would be one heck of a supervisor, I have the skill set, I have the experience, I have the education, and I'm a compassionate person. I just despise the idea that my co-workers are already discussing why they don't think I should be hired and that they'd be upset. I have worked really hard to get where I am in life, to gather experience beyond what most people my age have, and somehow I always find myself in this place of not feeling like others take me seriously. For example, here there is always a big deal about age. I hate that. Why should a number decide how mature I am, how much experience I have, or how successful I will be? At the end of the day, I just feel a little trapped. There are not a bazillion job openings and I don't want to just leave to be in a lurch or find myself somewhere I don't enjoy. I just wish there were more options. So, I will pray. This isn't exactly a situation to lose sleep over. I know there is some grand plan for me just waiting to unfold. In the mean time I just wish things were a little bit better.
In other news we are getting our first snow of the season!!! It's beautiful. I lost 2.2 lbs today at my Weight Watcher's meeting. Woohoo! Oh and prayers for my dear friend W. She is nearing her due date for their baby girl. We pray she can hang in there, mom can be healthy, and all goes smoothly. Also, prayers for our friend's 2 year old niece. She is on ventilators after an asthma attack and may not walk or talk again. There is brain damage, but no one will no the extent until she is out of her drug induced coma. Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, and love.

Announcing A Brand New...

Blog! The dear hubby has decided to launch himself into the world of blogging.  You can view his work at http://www.etherealbutterflygames.blogspot.com/! Check it out!