Hello 2011

We had a lovely New Year's Eve with appetizers and games at the Mother & Father-in-laws.  New Year's Day we hung out at their place again, but this time my Brother-in-law & family joined us.  We played a few more of our new board games! I got the game Scribblish and it was pretty fun, I laughed so hard my chest hurt! We also played Quelf which has you do some RIDICULOUS things.  We laughed pretty hard at this one too.  Dicecapades was the other game we played. It was like Cranium, but not so predictable and with a few different games. We had a really good time.  I finished the evening by returning a few phone calls. 
I talked to my Aunt G for quite a while about my cousin's pregnancy.  At one point she said, "Oh honey, we shouldn't be talking about this, it's just going to make you sad." The crazy thing about this fertility journey is that while it's a quick stab in my gut when I hear someone else is pregnant, I still want to know and I'm still happy for them.  It's just that there are a lot of little things that remind me of my grief.  What might be most surprising to people is the really little things, like wanting to read the book What to Expect When Your Expecting, but don't because of not wanting to "jinx" anything or have anyone be suspicious.  The other thing is feeling like pregnant women get more perks in the workplace because they are moms.  They get fewer miles to travel to be closer to babies, breaks to pump, days to "work from home" when babysitters are ill, etc.  Working in an office that has only one male is difficult. Especially being one of the two people there who don't have kids.  Anyway, I really do enjoy talking to people about their babies, what they are doing, etc.  In some way it's me living vicariously through them.  If I don't want to talk about it, I won't ask about it. I recently joined a support group online.  Specifically, there is a group for women who are going through IVF in January and February.  One of the ladies posted this article about infertility etiquette. I choked back tears reading it, because parts of it touched so close to my heart!
In case you read the article, here are a few quirks about me...

• I don't think anyone who reads this has actually said/done these things...so thank you.
• I don't mind hearing small pregnancy complaints. Everyone listens to me complain about my journey, so it seems like fair is fair. :-) Besides, refer back to my comment about living vicariously through others. I find it all interesting.
• On the remember them on Mother's Day...that's a nice suggestion, but I beg you, please do not remember me by sending me a Mother's Day card or even saying it to me (unless I'm pregnant by then).  It's become one of the hardest days of the year.  Oh and please don't feel bad if I don't say Happy Mother's Day to you.  It's all I can do to say it to my own mother, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law without sobbing.

Finally, I am exhausted today.  It was all I could do to roll out of bed a little after ten.  My head aches and so does my lower back.  I pray I'm not getting sick.  The next few weeks at work are going to be crazy.  I'm so not ready to go back to work! That's the problem with vacation, is going back, ha ha.  Oh well. 

I hope you all had a fantastic New Year's Eve and Day.  When I reflected on the last decade I realized it has had some of the best years of my life and some of the very worst.  Here are my favorite moments from 2010: becoming an Aunt, sister's graduation and the following days at the lake, my friend H visiting (minus my gallbladder), seeing my friend T and going wedding dress shopping with her, the Bahamas with my hubby, and watching him open his pinball machine on Christmas. I'm looking forward to all that 2011 may offer! Happy New Year!