Wedded Bliss

This week we traveled to Wyoming for our friends T & T to get married.  It was such a fabulous wedding.  These two have been inseparable since they met and we were so ecstatic to be a part of their special day.  We had so much fun with the wedding party and catching up with people I hadn't seen in a few years!  I got to have dinner with my cousin Char, play poker over a few drinks...just like college, we got to help set up for the wedding and bond with the families, the rehearsal dinner was wonderful, and the wedding was of course spectacular.  At the rehearsal dinner I was wearing black leggings with heels and a cute little black dress.  When I went to get out of the car my dress blew up.  Not sort of or kind of, but clear up to my face...and the back of my head! I was fortunate only my husband and T & T saw...I think!  After a few giggles we went inside for a great dinner, drinks, and lots of fun.  I got a really cool gift bag with all sorts of goodies to pamper myself...even a robe with my name and a new blanket! 

The wedding day was fantastic, we had our pedicures and manicures done in advance.  I also got a sunless tan and had my hair done.  My hair took 47 bobby pins and I'm guessing a half a can of hairspray, but it stayed in beautifully! The ceremony was really nice and I had to stop myself from crying nearly a dozen times.  I was so happy thinking about how amazing God is, how beautiful love is, how great of a couple T & T are, and how much I love my husband.  Life is so good. The reception was a blast.  We had just the right wedding party to pull off a dancing entrance.  There was a photo booth, candy bar, games for the kids, and so many wonderful people.  The happy couple left on their honeymoon (despite making a grand exit and needing to jump the car).  I couldn't be happier for the pair and was so happy to be part of their special day. 

Did I just win the lottery?

On Wednesday we went to a doctor's appointment with my fertility doctor. It took me a few months to get to a place where I was ready to walk through the doors of his office.  It has been so bittersweet.  His office has offered us hope, but it's still difficult to walk into an office and see other people happily pregnant.  I was excited to see the staff again, they are amazing.  We got there and were greeted with smiles, how are you's, etc.  Everyone was so sincere.  There was one other couple in the waiting room. I could tell they were there for their first consultation appointment. After sitting for just a minute, our doctor called us back.

We sat down and chatted about the days events, just making small talk.  Eventually, we got to talking about our IVF cycle.  The doctor said the staff had reviewed my file that morning and even after 27 years, occasionally a case comes along that still makes them tear up.  He said they were so hopeful for us, so happy for our success, and so heart broken over our loss.  We talked about what may have been the cause of a miscarriage.  It's difficult to tell whether it could be an egg quality issue or a sperm quality issue.  Some of the research from scholarly journal articles that I have read and my doctor has studied include miscarriage rates sharply declining when bmi is below a certain number.  I acknowledged that I'd be ready to jump right back in the saddle again, but would like to get to my weight loss goal.  I proceeded to say that it was sort of a ridiculous thought because even though I could reach my weight loss goal, that didn't mean I would have the funds needed to attempt IVF again.  This is where the doctor said that after talking to his staff, they want to help us out.  I could've jumped up and given him a kiss on the cheek.  He went on to say they wouldn't be able to help with the cost of medication, but they had contacted pharmacies to see if they would donate the samples we need to get through a cycle.  It was clear he had put a lot of thought into our story.  I seriously felt like I won the lottery. 

In addition to helping with the cost, he has brand new technology he wants to use.  It deals with the oxygen ratio that the embryos are held in.  Science has not figured out a way to emulate the unique nutrition offered from each woman to an embryo in utero, so there is not a tissue that can just be used.  Instead embryos are kept in an oxygenated environment in the lab.  The levels of oxygen can be regulated and some reports claim the success is higher in lower oxygen environments.  No report has claimed lower success.  The machine won't be tested and up for running for a little while.  This is perfect, because I need a little while to work on weight loss. 

I still feel like I could've just won the lottery, God is so good to me!

A sign of the thesis times...

My signature page came!  This might not mean anything to 99% of the population, but to me it is a sign of completion!  Following my thesis defense, I got a "nice to work with you" message from my advisor.  That was it.  I was assuming this meant my thesis had been accepted, but wouldn't know for a fact until I got a signature page in the mail.  It came on Saturday.  It came in a big white envelope and is printed on a nice paper.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  Now I get to print, bind, and send the finished product back to be cataloged in the library.  Hallelujah. I made it.  I did it. I am so proud of this work, all 94 pages of it!  Next on the docket...my last class.  It starts on Monday and is a class in Servant Leadership.  Upon completion I will have not only completed my Master's degree, but also earned a certificate in Servant Leadership.  Eight weeks from now my course work for this program will be done and I will have a new set of credentials to add to my resume! Cheers to academia!

Gluten what?

Since my doctor told me to cut down my refined carbs to one meal and focus on gluten free, I have been slow to change.  I didn't want to rush right out and buy a bunch of gluten free products that I was only going to eat at one meal a day.  Instead, I decided to cut down to carbs at one meal a day and use up some of what we have in the house.  I had also planned on being part of a pie and cake competition on Saturday.  They of course had a tasting after the judges had tried their pieces.  I wanted to taste the "competition".  Then proceeded to taste a couple of other treats.  My pie took second place...out of two pies.  The winning pie was apple and mine was peanut butter.  I don't think mine won because I work for the organization having the contest.  The pie that won was not as good as the ones my family has made.  Plus, everyone kept going back to my pie for seconds, thirds, and fourths.  That didn't happen with the winning pie.  Anyway, I brought a cake home from the cake & pie auction which we shared with our brother & sister-in-law.  I had a headache that evening and went to bed early.  I woke up with a terrible headache and upset stomach.  I blame it on the myriad of gluten products I ate the day before.  Sigh...anyway, it prompted me to change the dessert I had planned to make for our dinner party.  I was going to bake an angel food cake with strawberries.  Instead, I made a flourless chocolate cake and will garnish with whipped cream and strawberries.  Here is the recipe.  It tastes wonderful, but it stuck to the pan a little, so mine is a little funny shaped, like a pancake.  It was surprisingly easy to make. 

I was also happy to try some new gluten free crackers today.  I slept in really late this morning, woke up to breakfast in bed, and wasn't quite ready for a big lunch.  I decided to have some soup with crackers and cheese.  My Progresso Clam Chowder was gluten free and already in my cupboard.  I had purchased some sesame crackers that are really tasty!  My dear husband who is a carb lover, even likes my sesame crackers.  They were super crispy, salty, and delicious. I think everyone should try them!

What's up Doc?

Thursday morning I visited my regular doctor’s office.  I hate going to the doctor just to find out I’m a whiner or not really having any serious problems, so I save up reasons to go.  Today, I presented three.  One was my back pain, the second was my ears, and the third was a question about gluten.  I felt a little silly have three different issues, but I knew one would be super quick.  She checked my ears first, they were fine, I’m just congested from allergies.  I was glad they were okay, it seems like everyone locally has had ear infections!  My back is probably my sciatic nerve.  I had seen the same doctor back in January when I couldn’t stand up my back hurt so bad.  She gave me some exercises to do every morning to strengthen my lower back. She also put me back on the ice, rest, and meds campaign.  Hopefully, just a couple of days and I’ll be back to good. Regarding the gluten the doctor thought I might have an intolerance.  She gave me a few nutritional guidelines, not necessarily related to gluten intolerance.  She wants me to start each day with a protein source within 30 minutes of waking up.  She also suggested a half a grapefruit to aid with digestion, specifically the body processing fat.  I am suppose to drink at least 100 ounces of water a day, which I do usually anyway.  I am also suppose to limit refined carbohydrates to one meal.  She explained that a small serving of spaghetti with a couple pieces of garlic bread would be plenty for someone for a day’s worth of those type of carbohydrates.  She also suggested some gluten free products to try.  I guess we give this a whirl and see how it goes.  I found it mildly interesting that she said, “Don’t go crazy and cut all carbs out of your diet or do Atkins.”  Especially since I just told her I ate spaghetti for dinner a couple nights earlier! I love carbs, cutting them out is not an option in the forseeable future! Anyway, glad I’m okay and have simple changes to make. 

Thesis...Defended

I just defended my thesis.  Leading up to the presentation I wanted to either pee my pants or vomit.  I was literally on the verge of shaking.  Here is the play by play (this is for me to remember in the future, feel free to skip past what I said for a shortened version of this post)...

1.) I was the first on the call at 5 minutes prior which made me super nervous.  Finally, others started to join and chat.  I was amazed at what people didn't know, like whether we were allowed to use first person language, how long we were suppose to present, whether they would be questioned, etc.  In fact, one of the females started to kind of rag on her advisor. I chimed in and reminded everyone their advisors could be on the phone call and to be honest, I think they were.

2.) Five minutes after when we were suppose to start, the faculty joined the call.  At this point we realized there was a loud buzzing and everyone had to hang up and call back.  There was still a buzzing so the faculty changed rooms. We ended up starting 15 minutes late.

3.) When they finally took role there was one person who no-showed! Which is insanity.  One of the faculty started the defense by explaining this was really a celebration.  This is a little funny to me, because I have been to a lot of celebrations and never felt this nervous! One of the students  told everyone on the call she was not prepared at all.  Apparently, she didn't prepare her speech for this so-called celebration. There was one person who went before me and she didn't even tell us the name of her thesis or what she did.  She sort of got nailed for that when they got to question her.

4.) When it came to my turn, this is what I said...
Good afternoon, title of my thesis project is: Communication: Perception, Projection, and Personal Peace. I would like to begin by thanking my advisor HC and my mentor AS.


The concept of integrating communication and personal peace was inspired by Gandhi’s quote you must be the change you want to see in the world. I recognized that if I wanted to make a change in feeling at peace in my environment, it had to start with me. I also realized that understanding the connection between perception, projection, and personal peace was crucial. Ultimately, I chose a project because I wanted to give this topic as much reach as possible. I decided a course curriculum would be the way to satisfy this desire to educate people on interpersonal communication and how it relates to personal peace.

The goal of this project was to study both personal peace and communication and determine how they were connected. After reviewing this literature, the curriculum was created.

This study and corresponding curriculum is important because it stands to serve individuals by offering them increased personal peace through ethical practice and greater understanding of interpersonal communications.

To lay the groundwork for this project, it is important to understand a few terms. The first term is perception which was considered to be the way we perceive or take in the world around us. Projection is the attribution of one’s own attitudes, feelings, or suppositions to others according to Pickett. Personal peace was thought of in terms of the feelings or calmness that arises out of being content with ones actions.

To gather a better understanding of the topics guiding this project, I referred to several literary works. Naturally, I wanted to support this thesis project and ground it in a theoretical base. I chose two theories, Existential Theory by Carl Rogers and Blumer’s Symbolic Interactionism Theory. Rogers stated that the behavior of the human organism may be determined by the influences to which it has been exposed, but it may also be determined by the creative and integrative insight of the organism itself. This ability of the person to discover new meaning in the forces which impinge upon him and in the past experiences which have been controlling him, and the ability to consciously alter his behavior in the light of the new meaning, has a profound significance. The significance of Rogers proposition is especially interesting when studying the relation of how we perceive information, project information and have the ability to alter our perception or projection to increase our personal peace. The second theory was Symbolic Interactionsim. Blumer described his theory by noting that it rests in the analysis of three premises. One was that human beings act on things on the basis of the meanings that the things have for them. The second is that the meaning of such things is derived from or arises out of the social interaction. The third premise is that these meanings are handled in and modified through an interpretive process used by the person in dealing with the things they encounter. Specifically the things that Blumer was describing were people or institutions. We can take this theory and look closer at our actions in relation to how we perceive the world around us and project our thoughts, feelings, or attitudes. By taking a closer look at these actions we can analyze what we can do to potentially increase our own personal peace.

Regarding perception there was one piece of information I found particularly interesting. According to the Journal of Positive Psychology the more abstractly people tend to view important aspects of their lives, the more satisfying they tended to rate their lives. Regarding Projection the most interesting part was discovering more about how Freud viewed projection which was to view it as a way for an organism to manage internal stimuli that threatens quiescence or peace. One of the ways projection can be manage is through ethical communication. When it came to personal peace I thought that a parable from Buddha put everything together. That parable said better than a speech of a thousand vain words is one thoughtful word which brings peace to the mind. One of the reasons this was so profound to me was it connected really well with Aristotle’s concept of being in a contented state of happiness in accordance with virtue and one can not be at peace, unless they have virtue. In regard to creating a course curriculum Kirkwood’s work pointed out that individuals need to be taught to develop their emotional capacities just as they are taught math or science. Just as critical thinking is taught as part of argumentation so too something like ‘educated feeling’ would seem to fall to rhetoric in so far as pathos is a major element in argumentation, public speaking, persuasion, and rhetorical analysis.

To create a new course there were a few questions to be considered that I drew from the book teaching communication: Theory, Research, and Methods. This course is new in the sense it takes an interpersonal communication course and focuses on personal peace. The curriculum is intended for students who are just beginning to learn about the field of communication on college or university campus. The role of the teacher is to facilitate the course curriculum and encourage students to engage in dialogue that will leave an impression that reaches far beyond the classroom. The course is a skills based course which includes several opportunities for discussion that will encourage students to recognize their relevant communication processes and phenomena in their own relationships and interactions are hopefully prepared to be skilled communicators through better recognition, analysis, and response to daily situations. Using the Rogers theory the learner is as the center of the education and encouraged to draw upon their personal experiences to better understand the concepts presented. Symbolic Interactionism also discussed the idea of learners gathering information through interaction. The course tackled this interaction through group work, dialogue, and collaboration with members of their community.

The course was broken into four modules. One focuses on Communication, one on perception, one on projection, and one on personal peace. Students complete writing prompts such as describing how a topic relates to current events or personal situations, write an ethical dilemma paper, complete a group project on the perceptions of students on campus regarding a current event, write a disclosure research paper and present the information, participate in numerous class discussions and activities, complete tests, and write a final paper that combines all of the information they have learned. The course text is Understanding Interpersonal Communication: Making Choices in Changing Times by West and Turner. This text spoke to the heart of the curriculum.

This project will hopefully serve as a springboard for future research and evaluation. Ideally this course curriculum will be presented and revised by individual educators based on student feedback and further refinement. I hope this thesis project adds to the field of communication and can possibly have a positive impact on our world.

5.) After my presentation which lasted just over 8 minutes, I was open for questions.  One of the faculty who is actually my academic advisor asked me to further explain projection and how psychology and communication were expanded on in this project.  I was able to explain this and had actually expected this question.  The next question was from the head of the department who asked where I got this topic from and whether I had discussed my work with any universities to see if they were interested in my curriculum.  Fortunately, I had talked to an old professor who was really excited about my work and was able to speak to that.  Finally, another faculty member started suggesting local universities who might be interested in my curriculum!  I was very flattered by this.
 
6.) That's it, that's what I went through. I think it went fairly well, but I still feel jitters in my stomach.  Now I get to hang out on the call for another hour and listen to other student's defend.  I think I sounded confident and well versed.  I am still in shock that I just defended my thesis. This is so surreal!

P.S. At the end of the call, all of the faculty clapped and cheered for us. I felt like a million bucks! It was so awesome!

Counting my blessings

I was thinking tonight that I have had so many things I wanted to post on Facebook the past couple days.  I always hesitate to post, because if it is about work, I don't want to leave someone out or chose favorites.  So, I decided to share some of my blessings:
1.) I had a great committee meeting last night. I work with phenomenal volunteers.
2.) I had a good committee meeting tonight.  I presented some not so pretty statistics and I think my volunteers are rising to the challenge. I'm impressed.
3.) I had the best meal I have had all month, made by a committee member...and I have the recipe!
4.) I've gotten to talk to my sister the past couple days, as I've been driving home or in between crazy moments at work. She's listened to me be so moody this week. I've complained, I've whined, and she's been supportive and such a good balance. I am so thankful to have a sibling who is so understanding and compassionate.
5.) I came home after a 12 hour day at work for the second day in a row, to find my husband had gone grocery shopping! He did a great job! He bought fresh fruit, vegetables, and made healthy choices. I was so proud of his choices and so pleased to have him taking care of me! I know grocery shopping should be a priority, but I just haven't had time.  I am so fortunate to be married to someone who is so thoughtful, so kind, and so loving!