Day 1 of Shots Down

Tonight we did our first round of shots.  I took my time and made sure I was doing everything right.  The dear hubby stood by my side and helped hold needles, journaled the amount of medication used from the cartridge, and offered lots of support.  The first shot took me a little while to just poke myself with, but once I did it, I couldn't even feel it!  The second shot was more difficult to get the hang of because I had to mix dilutent with powder.  I finally got it mixed and stuck myself.  I expected it to burn a little, but it was not bad at all.  Hopefully, tomorrow I can just do the actual shot real quick.  I think my stomach area (where I did the shots) feels a little funny, but it could be all in my head.  Anyway, just a little update that the shots weren't so bad today.

My shot box...and regimen

I sat down and organized my box of shot supplies and meds.  One of the meds is Follistim and comes in a pen.  I didn't realize until this evening that it comes in a cute little blue, soft-sided, zipper pouch.  I am so happy that everything will be in one convenient place. In case you are wondering exactly what you are looking at, I will explain.

On the lower left are blue boxes. These are Ganirelix.  This will be used the four days prior to retrieval. This medication is used in close conjunction with the Follistim and Menopur.  As the name implies, Follistim is used to stimulate the growth of follicles.  This will cause my body to develop multiple follicles at once.  In each follicle should be an egg.  In a normal cycle a lutenizing hormone would trigger ovulation.  In this case we want to have control over ovulation.  To prevent my body from ovulation, Ganirelix is used.  It allows the follicles to keep maturing without prompting ovulation.  This allows the doctor to go in and harvest as many eggs as possible in one shot.

On the top left are Vivelle patches.  These patches start the day before the transfer. Estrogen levels typically increase throughout a pregnancy.  In order to maintain a pregnancy, it is important to have progesterone and estrogen levels regulated. The Vivelle patch will hopefully accomplish this!

To the right of the Vivelle patches are smaller needles.  Beside those, in the top right corner are my mixing syringes and needles.  The mixing needles are the ones I thought looked huge until I found out I switched out the large one for a tiny one.

Directly below my mixing syringe and needles in the middle are bandaids and some cotton sponges to wipe away the excess alcohol before I give myself a shot.

To the right of the bandages and sponges are bottles of dilutent.

Below the bandages are bottles of Menopur.  This is a white powder.  I use two jars of powder to 1 cc of dilutent mentioned above.  I will be taking Menopur for 9 days along with the Follistim I mentioned earlier.  This medication also helps stimulate follicular growth, but also assists with balancing out the lutenizing hormone.  I stop taking this the day before my HCG trigger shot.

In the bottom right corner are my alcohol prep pads.

Believe it or not, these aren't even close to all my medications. As I mentioned above I have a Follistim pen.  The cartridges for the pen stay in the refrigerator until I puncture the cartridge. I also have two prescriptions for injectables still coming.  One is for HCG and that is a one time shot.  The other injectable is Progesterone which starts the day after our retrieval.  HCG is given around 35 hours before my retrieval.  Ovulation would occur at 36 hours after the shot, so it's important for the timing of the shot to be perfect.  The doctor will go in and harvest the eggs right before ovulation occurs so they are as mature as possible.

In addition to the injectables I have a few pills. I have already taken a heavy dose of Zithromax (the Z-Pack).  The hubby also took a large dose of antibiotics. I also finished off three weeks of birth control pills.  On Sunday I start Dexamethasone in the mornings.  This is a steroid to assist with ovarian response.  Starting the day of the retrieval I have a schedule for taking Minocin and Medrol for 6 days. Minocin is another antibiotic. Medrol keeps inflammation down between the embryo and lining of the uterus.  I am taking a prenatal, folic acid supplement, baby aspirin, and Metformin too.  The Metformin regulates my blood sugar levels.  The baby aspirin helps decrease clotting factors and increases blood flow.

So, in case you ever wondered how many medications could possibly go in to an IVF cycle, there you have it!  I don't expect anyone to remember the schedule, I can barely keep it straight with a handy little calendar! I just thought it was interesting to see how everything worked together.  It also gave me a much greater appreciation for what the female body does any given month!

I didn't want to attach my whole calendar as a picture, but here is the general feel of it:
January 30 - Start Medications- Dexamethasone, Follistim, Menopur.
February 1-7 - Go in for daily ultrasound and labs.
February 4-7 - Take Ganirelix.
February 7 - Last day of Follistim and Menopur.
February 8 - Ultrasound, labs, and tentative date for HCG.  Last day of Dexamethasone.
February 9 - No meds, no ultrasounds, no labs today!
February 10 - Tentative IVF Retrieval and start a Minocin/Medrol schedule.
February 11 - Start Progesterone and Vivelle.
February 13 - Might be an ultrasound to check for Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome.
February 14 - Tentative embryo transfer.  Start bedrest.
February 15 - Last day of Minocin/Medrol.
February 16 - March 1- Continue Vivelle and Progesterone.

Please continue to pray as we go through this process. We have been pretty open with everyone about it, volunteers, co-workers, friends, and family.  In fact my mom forwarded our calendar on to my grandma and one of my aunts so they would know when to pray.  My Aunt Pickle being the funny lady she is wrote back and said, "Who is we?"  I think she thought my mom was doing IVF, it made me giggle.  My mom of course let her know that the hubby and I were doing it.  Anyway, all this to say we really need your prayers and appreciate your support and love.

What's going on...

I've had a good week for the most part...

• Monday- my ultrasound and labs were "perfect" according to the doctor and nurse.  We learned how to do shots.  I was pleasantly surprised with how small the needles were.  It was sort of funny because one of the shots I have to mix.  Not being in the medical profession, I didn't know they made "mixing" needles.  When I first saw the mixing needle, it was HUGE and intimidating.  I was relieved when the nurse said I got to change it out for a much smaller one!  I don't go back in now until Tuesday.  I'm pretty excited to see how well my eggs grow, how many grow, etc.  I'm also relieved to be getting closer by the minute to "in the thick of it".  The whole process reminds me of when I got engaged.  Since the dear hubby sent me on a scavenger hunt, I had time to process that this was it, this was a moment that would change my life forever.  The nice thing about IVF is that I get that same time to process.  So far I am not nervous, scared, or anything like that, just giddy with excitement.
• Later on Monday I found out that my thesis project proposal was accepted!  I was expecting that I would submit it, revise, submit, etc.  I was so happy that I was approved on the first shot!
• I also purchased my airline tickets and made a hotel reservation for my "residency" in March.  I have a 3 day on campus requirement to complete my degree.  I have this semester and one more class over summer.  Time has gone by so fast!
• Tuesday- I had a noon meeting at work with a bunch of leaders from our community at our office.  I was really happy that a senior staff who isn't my supervisor called on me to lend my expertise on social networking to the group.  There were certainly other people who could have spoken to the topic, but she chose me.  It was really cool because I haven't gotten to work with this group a lot yet and I felt like her nod in my direction carried a lot of weight.  When it came to the portion of the agenda for me to give updates, lots of people told me I did an amazing job of inspiring the room to get fundraising! Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my edge for presenting or getting shyer as I age.  I remember not long ago I would just stand up and say anything.  I actually get a little nervous now!  Anyway, all the affirmation made me feel really good.  One person said they could tell why I was an excellent communication major, so that was cool.
• After that meeting I got a phone call from my volunteer who was diagnosed with cancer last week.  On Monday they went in to remove her colon cancer.  They thought they got all the colon cancer, but won't know until the pathology report comes back.  That part is good.  What is not so good is that they found a large spot of cancer on her rectum that looked pretty bad.  They haven't given her a stage yet.  I could hear her crying the whole time she was sharing this with me and I was able to make her giggle, but my heart just broke the entire time.  Please pray for her.  Her name is Donna. 
• When I got home my dad sent me revised copy of his cookbook.  This made me so happy. I love family recipes, the memories, and am just so sentimental about them.  In fact, he could've just given me that as a gift for a holiday and I'd be totally content. (Dear sister...you could give me your recipes as a gift for something, hint hint, ha ha).  For that matter, anyone could and I'd love it!  I think that inviting others to eat with you is one of the ultimate gestures of love.  Sharing recipes ranks right up there.  Anyway, it made my day.
• I also got to book our hotel room for my friend T's wedding! I also called all of the Bridesmaids/matrons to share information about her shower.  I'm ecstatic that her wedding will be here before I know it!
• Wednesday (today)- I got a TON done at work! Like my whole to-do list is caught up! It's incredible.  I have a few things to-do, but nothing major. I was totally relieved. I also got my oil changed!  Last Friday night I was totally panicked that I hadn't gotten enough work done and stayed up until the wee morning hours working from home.  I finally feel like I can leave work at work this week and that's such a relief.
• Today my faculty mentor agreed to coach me for my thesis project, I'm making some sort of progress it seems like. Now I just need to get busy reading, reading, and reading some more.
• This may sound silly, but I bought an organizer for my shot paraphernalia today! Yesterday was my last day of birth control pills. I call my doctor's office on Thursday or Friday to just check in.  I feel like I really want to get as much done as possible at home, because the next few weeks will be crazy with shots, doctor's appointments, and I have two events to staff.  Anyway, organizing my shots is one way to channel all my excitement.

So that's it, my last three days in review.  Like I said, they have been pretty good for the most part.  I'd like to say I will be updating more on how my eggs are progressing next week, but honestly it will depend on the mood I am in on any given day.  Feel free to text me if you are really curious and I haven't posted, ha ha.

Ugh...a week of Mondays?

Monday I slept in which was good, because I had nightmares on Sunday night. Two in a row actually. I blame it on the birth control pills. I was glad I had the rest of the day to just hang out with the hubby. We played Donkey Kong Country Returns, watched the Life series, and just hung out. It was really nice. Oh, and we got to take dinner to our friends who have a new set of twins.  Only one of the babies is home, so keep baby Aiden in your prayers. He had heart surgery last week and will be recovering in the hospital for a couple more weeks. His brother Braiden was so sweet! I can't wait to meet Aiden.

Tuesday I worked a full day and traveled.  One of my volunteers recently had a baby (a couple weeks from when the twins I just mentioned were born).  I got to hold the sweet pea, but I have to admit there was a little heart break...she has been diagnosed with Down syndrome. I know her family doesn't have the resources to take care of her and it just breaks my heart. She is so young, so sweet, and just deserves the best care in the world.  I so badly wanted to reach out and help, to do something, and haven't come up with anything appropriate. Just praying for now.  I also got to catch up a little with my dear friend H on the phone and my youngest sister, so there were some great parts to my day.

Wednesday I had a great meeting at work that made me think, "Wow, I'm fighting cancer!" I wish I could've bottled that feeling for today. I wish I could have saved every little ounce of that joy to remember on the harder days I have at work.  I also got to chat with my sisters and friend H (we got cut off the day before).

Today was just crappy. A co-worker was upset about something we really have no control over, which is normally the case.  Another co-worker failed to mention a meeting time change and things would have gone differently at the meeting had she told me.  Oh, and did I mention she decided to take her twin boys to the meeting? Which is not very professional.  I had to tell my supervisor about how the meeting went, which didn't make anybody happy.  I could probably have been just fine dealing with this, but then another co-worker ragged on me for how I file my documents on my computer. I don't create a file folder for a document unless I have two documents that can go into that file. Why open a folder to just see a single file when you could just see the file?  Anyway, it just hurt my feelings because I think I am good at organizing stuff like that.  Who even cares? It's just the way I chose to file my documents.  It brought back memories from another place I worked where I had a super micro-manager supervising me. I wanted to leave work early to see the family's ranch hand who is in the hospital, needless to say I didn't get to do that because I got inundated with a few requests from volunteers.  I left work just feeling crappy.  Then I got an update on the gentleman in the hospital and it wasn't good. He will probably only be with us for a day or two more.  If I had gone today he wouldn't have known I was there, but tomorrow they are taking him off some meds to say good-bye to everyone. I just want to go pay my respects for all he has done over the years for the ranch.  I feel like I owe it to the grandpa in-law.  While I was talking to my mother-in-law to get all this info, a committee member called me.  She called to tell me one of the volunteers I am really close to was diagnosed with cancer today.  It's already spread.  It's definitely not the first volunteer I have had diagnosed with cancer, but is by far one of the volunteers I am closest too! It was just a rough day. It's only been a three day work week so far and it feels like it was a three week in a row without a day off work week. I'm going in for a little while tomorrow, but I just need some time off. 

I need a Friday.

Is it nap time yet?

This week has been a whirlwind. Monday I had my ultrasound and it looked good.  I officially started my birth control pills and the path to IVF.  Monday afternoon I traveled out of town for work.  This meant a return home at 11pm.  We had a 9am staff meeting on Tuesday and I just felt like I couldn't get caught up all day, so I brought home my work. I worked until 11pm again.  Wednesday evening brought a meeting with new volunteers.  They were all so kind, so welcoming, and so willing to work! It was wonderful.  At the end of the meeting a co-worker asked me to help lift a really light box. I made it like 20 steps before having to stop.  My back hurt so bad, it felt like it was paralyzed with pain.  She took the box and we headed up to finish our meeting.  I decided when I took 3 ibuprofen and it did nothing, I should see the doctor.  I got an appointment yesterday afternoon.  I was to a point where I couldn't stand up straight I hurt so bad.  I saw a PA and she was pretty sure I had inflammation of my sciatic. She also ordered a urine test and x-rays.  My x-rays showed some degeneration, which worries me a little.  I don't have any follow up with the doctor.  For now I am just taking pain meds and a muscle relaxant.  I felt a little better today, but still not back to my self.  I have put in over 60 hours at work this week and still have work to get done by Monday. I travel again tomorrow.  I know this is temporary insanity. It will get better if I can make it through January.  After that I will have my old events transitioned and just my new work load.  Right now I feel like I am doing two jobs, but it will get better. 
This weekend we do our next step with medication for IVF. We do our antibiotics, which marks that we are about a month out from the retrieval.  It's all so exciting!

No wonder...

No wonder I felt so sleepy, achey, and generally crappy.  The time of the month came which is more exciting than usual, because it means we get to move forward with IVF! I called the doctor's office and they scheduled me for an ultrasound and labs tomorrow at 9am. If all goes well, I will start my birth control pills tomorrow too. Yay this is progress!  I'm absolutely amazed that I'm right on schedule with the calendar they gave me back in November.  I'm so excited to see what will happen in 2011!

Hello 2011

We had a lovely New Year's Eve with appetizers and games at the Mother & Father-in-laws.  New Year's Day we hung out at their place again, but this time my Brother-in-law & family joined us.  We played a few more of our new board games! I got the game Scribblish and it was pretty fun, I laughed so hard my chest hurt! We also played Quelf which has you do some RIDICULOUS things.  We laughed pretty hard at this one too.  Dicecapades was the other game we played. It was like Cranium, but not so predictable and with a few different games. We had a really good time.  I finished the evening by returning a few phone calls. 
I talked to my Aunt G for quite a while about my cousin's pregnancy.  At one point she said, "Oh honey, we shouldn't be talking about this, it's just going to make you sad." The crazy thing about this fertility journey is that while it's a quick stab in my gut when I hear someone else is pregnant, I still want to know and I'm still happy for them.  It's just that there are a lot of little things that remind me of my grief.  What might be most surprising to people is the really little things, like wanting to read the book What to Expect When Your Expecting, but don't because of not wanting to "jinx" anything or have anyone be suspicious.  The other thing is feeling like pregnant women get more perks in the workplace because they are moms.  They get fewer miles to travel to be closer to babies, breaks to pump, days to "work from home" when babysitters are ill, etc.  Working in an office that has only one male is difficult. Especially being one of the two people there who don't have kids.  Anyway, I really do enjoy talking to people about their babies, what they are doing, etc.  In some way it's me living vicariously through them.  If I don't want to talk about it, I won't ask about it. I recently joined a support group online.  Specifically, there is a group for women who are going through IVF in January and February.  One of the ladies posted this article about infertility etiquette. I choked back tears reading it, because parts of it touched so close to my heart!
In case you read the article, here are a few quirks about me...

• I don't think anyone who reads this has actually said/done these things...so thank you.
• I don't mind hearing small pregnancy complaints. Everyone listens to me complain about my journey, so it seems like fair is fair. :-) Besides, refer back to my comment about living vicariously through others. I find it all interesting.
• On the remember them on Mother's Day...that's a nice suggestion, but I beg you, please do not remember me by sending me a Mother's Day card or even saying it to me (unless I'm pregnant by then).  It's become one of the hardest days of the year.  Oh and please don't feel bad if I don't say Happy Mother's Day to you.  It's all I can do to say it to my own mother, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law without sobbing.

Finally, I am exhausted today.  It was all I could do to roll out of bed a little after ten.  My head aches and so does my lower back.  I pray I'm not getting sick.  The next few weeks at work are going to be crazy.  I'm so not ready to go back to work! That's the problem with vacation, is going back, ha ha.  Oh well. 

I hope you all had a fantastic New Year's Eve and Day.  When I reflected on the last decade I realized it has had some of the best years of my life and some of the very worst.  Here are my favorite moments from 2010: becoming an Aunt, sister's graduation and the following days at the lake, my friend H visiting (minus my gallbladder), seeing my friend T and going wedding dress shopping with her, the Bahamas with my hubby, and watching him open his pinball machine on Christmas. I'm looking forward to all that 2011 may offer! Happy New Year!