Last night I decided to train for a 5k. I have wanted to run a 5k for quite a while now. I ran a 3k (I think it was 3k) years ago...like 12 years ago in Montana. Since then I have put on 5k events and always worked them, not had the opportunity to run in one. I am also quite aware that while I can hang out on my elliptical for hours, running is a different story. A couple people suggested I use the couch to 5k program. So, I looked it up online and found a free version of the program that had podcasts for my downloading pleasure. Before I went to bed last night I was so sure I would wake up this morning and run. The joke was on me...there was snow. I packed my bag to hit the gym after work, but all the snow had melted by the time work was over. I was able to day one training at a local park.
I have decided I need a new pair of shorts or sweats that don't fall down while I'm running. I kept having to yank mine up. I also need a better sports bra...mine was okay, but my shoulders hurt. I am open to suggestions if you know a good brand...one that is supportive and bonus points if you don't end up with what I refer to as "unaboob". I think I need a drawstring pair of sweats or shorts. I also need to get an armband for my Zune. I have new walking shoes, but after a while I might invest in running shoes. More than likely I will "reward" myself for keeping up with training by purchasing my "running" gear.
The podcast was pretty decent. I warmed up with walking for five minutes, followed by intervals of walking for 90 seconds and jogging for 60 seconds, and finished with a five minute cool down. I did a mile and a half in my thirty minute training. I instantly felt more confident again. I didn't like running near a road with lots of traffic, I was a little concerned about people seeing me jog...I realize this is sort of silly since a 5k would be a place where lots of people would see me jogging. I just need to get in my groove and really figure out what I am doing.
I plan to run a 5k near Thanksgiving. I might even run one in ten weeks if I am ready. The program is 9 weeks long. I am happy with having one day done. I hope I can keep up and just keep going with it. Anyway, it cheered me up.
I also sent an e-mail out today to the group that had an individual who sent me hate mail and feel like I resolved it. I actually wrote back and forth a little with the person I think sent the mail. Even if it wasn't her, she knows who it was to share today's conversations. So, I can actually sleep tonight! Yay!!!
In other news...my husband and I are going on TWO dates this weekend. How cool is that? I think I am the luckiest woman in the world sometimes.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Burnt out...
I am at a point of near desperation. I am so burnt out at work and not even sure what I need to do to pull up my boot straps and just carry on. I miss seeing my husband. I miss structure of going to work and going home on some sort of schedule. I miss the days when hearing about terminal illness only happened occasionally. Naturally, all of this had been on my mind, but today I got another nasty gram from someone. I haven't cried yet. I'm not even sure how to respond or what to write back. I just want to curl in a ball, nice and snug under my covers and wake up to a new job.
I have applied for a few jobs. In fact I turned in some materials this week. I'm at a point where if I could just quit, I would. Most days I like everyone I work with. That is not the problem. I just feel like I pour my heart into this job and give my best every day, only for people to tell me I'm not doing enough in the fight, not working hard enough (despite my 50-80 hour weeks), and should be doing more. It's just an abuse I don't know how long I can take. My supervisor and others won't confront the people who make comments such as this, because we always have to represent our organization in the best light possible...even if that means staff just taking it.
I realize I am fortunate to have a job. I'm just not sure if I am strong enough to stay here. I have always really enjoyed challenges. I like figuring out a solution, making things work, seeing the silver lining, but I see that part of me slowly deteriorating. I think that is the part that makes me sad. I have always been more of an optimist, a happy, excited person. I feel like that part of me is slipping away and I need to make a change before it's gone. I didn't get on to blog to have a pity party. I just need some room to vent and a place to write down my thoughts so I don't explode into tears. Thanks for listening. Prayers for a new job are appreciated. I know there are hundreds of people who are unemployed and need to catch a break, I wish everyone who needed a job had one.
P.S. I was talking to a co-worker about an executive who started in my job and was revelling about how long she had been in the organization and how she had climbed the corporate latter. I was wondering how she did it, how she made it....that's when my co-worker pointed out she had a nervous breakdown. I can see that.
I have applied for a few jobs. In fact I turned in some materials this week. I'm at a point where if I could just quit, I would. Most days I like everyone I work with. That is not the problem. I just feel like I pour my heart into this job and give my best every day, only for people to tell me I'm not doing enough in the fight, not working hard enough (despite my 50-80 hour weeks), and should be doing more. It's just an abuse I don't know how long I can take. My supervisor and others won't confront the people who make comments such as this, because we always have to represent our organization in the best light possible...even if that means staff just taking it.
I realize I am fortunate to have a job. I'm just not sure if I am strong enough to stay here. I have always really enjoyed challenges. I like figuring out a solution, making things work, seeing the silver lining, but I see that part of me slowly deteriorating. I think that is the part that makes me sad. I have always been more of an optimist, a happy, excited person. I feel like that part of me is slipping away and I need to make a change before it's gone. I didn't get on to blog to have a pity party. I just need some room to vent and a place to write down my thoughts so I don't explode into tears. Thanks for listening. Prayers for a new job are appreciated. I know there are hundreds of people who are unemployed and need to catch a break, I wish everyone who needed a job had one.
P.S. I was talking to a co-worker about an executive who started in my job and was revelling about how long she had been in the organization and how she had climbed the corporate latter. I was wondering how she did it, how she made it....that's when my co-worker pointed out she had a nervous breakdown. I can see that.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Italian Style Pork Tenderloin with Faux Tato Salad and Green Beans
We had a wonderful 300 calorie dinner tonight. The green beans are easy- you can just steam them! We had ours pickled. A cousin gave me a jar of her pickled green beans and they were REALLY good. I can't wait until summer, I think I am going to grow and pickle green beans! Anyway, we also had faux tato salad. Here is the recipe:Faux Tato Salad
12 oz. Frozen Cauliflower
1/2 Cup Cottage Cheese
1 tsp. mustard
1 tsp. vinegar
8 dill pickle rounds
Salt and pepper to taste
Steam cauliflower. Make sure the cauliflower doesn't get over cooked. You still want it to be a little firm. As soon as it has been steamed, rinse with cold water to chill the cauliflower and stop it from cooking any more.
While the cauliflower is being steamed, put your cottage cheese in the food processor or blender. Mix until creamy (this may require a few minutes of mixing/blending, but don't rush it...you want a creamy texture). After you have creamed your cottage cheese, use a spatula to move it to a medium to large bowl. Add the mustard and vinegar. Using kitchen shears or a knife cut up the dill pickles into small pieces. Add pickles to mixture. After the cauliflower has been rinsed, add it to the bowl. Add salt and pepper to taste!
Serves 4, each serving is 49 calories.
Italian Style Pork Tenderloin
1 Pork Tenderloin
1/2 Cup of Ragu Light Tomato and Basil Sauce
Basil (I used the type in the tube)
Spray a small glass pan with cooking spray. Brush basil on top of tenderloin. Brush marinara on top of tenderloin. Bake at 375 degrees for 45-55 minutes. Let sit for 2-5 minutes and slice. One 3 oz. serving has 190 calories.
Green Beans (16 string beans): 27 calories
Faux Tato Salad: 49 calories
Italian Style Pork Tenderloin: 190 calories
Total: 266 calories
Go Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S
I had the best snack today! It was amazing! While I didn't balance it with a protein, it was incredible! Are you ready for this?
For each serving you need:
1 Frozen small (6-7 inches)Banana
1 TBSP. half and half (optional)
1 tsp. vanilla
Optional Topping:
1/2 Tbsp. Milk Chocolate Morsels
1/2 Tbsp. White Chocolate Morsels
1 drop or two half and half
Chop the frozen banana up and process in your heavy duty food processor for a few minutes. It will suddenly start to look like soft serve ice cream! Add in the optional half and half and vanilla. Scrape into your bowl. You could eat it just like this...amazing soft serve banana ice cream.
If you feel adventurous- the "ice cream" is so good on its own you probably won't want to feel adventurous, but if you do...simply microwave your chocolate and half and half for just a few seconds to melt. Pour on top.
It's amazing, in my opinion! I was skeptical at first, but yummy! Oh, and guess what...definitely under 300 calories! Here is the break down:
Banana Soft Serve "Ice Cream" with vanilla and no half and half: 100 calories
Banana Soft Serve "Ice Cream" with vanilla and half and half: 119 calories
Chocolate Topping: 72 calories
Enjoy!
For each serving you need:
1 Frozen small (6-7 inches)Banana
1 TBSP. half and half (optional)
1 tsp. vanilla
Optional Topping:
1/2 Tbsp. Milk Chocolate Morsels
1/2 Tbsp. White Chocolate Morsels
1 drop or two half and half
Chop the frozen banana up and process in your heavy duty food processor for a few minutes. It will suddenly start to look like soft serve ice cream! Add in the optional half and half and vanilla. Scrape into your bowl. You could eat it just like this...amazing soft serve banana ice cream.
If you feel adventurous- the "ice cream" is so good on its own you probably won't want to feel adventurous, but if you do...simply microwave your chocolate and half and half for just a few seconds to melt. Pour on top.
It's amazing, in my opinion! I was skeptical at first, but yummy! Oh, and guess what...definitely under 300 calories! Here is the break down:
Banana Soft Serve "Ice Cream" with vanilla and no half and half: 100 calories
Banana Soft Serve "Ice Cream" with vanilla and half and half: 119 calories
Chocolate Topping: 72 calories
Enjoy!
Wrapped up in Rubens
I love Rubens! Unfortunately, the average Reuben is loaded with calories. I recently saw a Ruben dip recipe in my new Hungry Girl cookbook. I didn't follow the recipe, but I did note two distinct differences between their dip and a traditional Reuben. One change was to use turkey and the other was fat free French dressing. At the grocery store I bought one pound of deli turkey, a can of sauerkraut, some Kraft Free French Dressing, Swiss cheese, and some LaTortilla Factory Rye Wraps.
The original recipe probably called for veggies to dip, but part of the Reuben for me is the rye b
read. Thinking I would prepare meals for the week, I got out four small Ziploc containers. I think they are 6 oz. containers. I sliced my deli turkey into inch long and 1/4 inch wide slices. I usually prefer everything to be fairly chopped up to make dipping or biting easier, especially with braces! I dropped 3 oz. of turkey into each container. You will have just a little extra, perfect for salad or a mid afternoon snack. Next I added two ounces of drained sauerkraut. I noticed that there is a slight caloric difference between mild sauerkraut and Bavarian sauerkraut. I used mild sauerkraut which had 10 calories per serving as opposed to Bavarian that has 20 calories. Next I stirred in one tablespoon of French dressing. Finally, I added 3/4 of an ounce of Swiss cheese. I chopped my Swiss cheese into butter pad sizes to make melting a little easier. That's it...I put in the refrigerator until I need them (by the way, nothing stays in my fridge for more than 6 or 7 days...I'm kind of weird about leftovers and such, so I would also suggest eating this recipe in 7 days...anything longer is at your own risk.).
When I grab one out of the fridge, I just heat my tortilla for 20 seconds and my Ruben filling for 1-2 minutes. I spread the filling on the tortilla, wrap, and enjoy! It's instant Ruben pleasure for just 295 calories! One serving of a regular Reuben has around 800 calories. So, enjoy this toned down and delicious swap.
The original recipe probably called for veggies to dip, but part of the Reuben for me is the rye b
read. Thinking I would prepare meals for the week, I got out four small Ziploc containers. I think they are 6 oz. containers. I sliced my deli turkey into inch long and 1/4 inch wide slices. I usually prefer everything to be fairly chopped up to make dipping or biting easier, especially with braces! I dropped 3 oz. of turkey into each container. You will have just a little extra, perfect for salad or a mid afternoon snack. Next I added two ounces of drained sauerkraut. I noticed that there is a slight caloric difference between mild sauerkraut and Bavarian sauerkraut. I used mild sauerkraut which had 10 calories per serving as opposed to Bavarian that has 20 calories. Next I stirred in one tablespoon of French dressing. Finally, I added 3/4 of an ounce of Swiss cheese. I chopped my Swiss cheese into butter pad sizes to make melting a little easier. That's it...I put in the refrigerator until I need them (by the way, nothing stays in my fridge for more than 6 or 7 days...I'm kind of weird about leftovers and such, so I would also suggest eating this recipe in 7 days...anything longer is at your own risk.).When I grab one out of the fridge, I just heat my tortilla for 20 seconds and my Ruben filling for 1-2 minutes. I spread the filling on the tortilla, wrap, and enjoy! It's instant Ruben pleasure for just 295 calories! One serving of a regular Reuben has around 800 calories. So, enjoy this toned down and delicious swap.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Muffin Madness
Okay, here is the deal...I am tired of drinking protein supplements. I don't like the taste anymore and can't stand the idea of drinking them. I still want to lose weight, but just realize I need to make some changes in my diet plan. Whatever I do, it has to be something that I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. I know this isn't a brief moment in time where I watch what I eat, it's going to be a lifestyle change. With that said...I am trying to stick to 1200 calories and eating foods that are higher in protein, more natural, and filling. Now, I realize when I follow my Metabolic Research Center plan I lost about 2.5 pounds a week. The catch is, I haven't been following it. I find every reason possible not to drink protein supplements. So, I need to adjust. I know I can do this new hybrid plan and monitor my results. If I quit losing weight, I can always go right back to where I left off.
For accountability, that's the thing I struggle the most with, I am posting my food on sparkpeople.com. I love the website so much! I can track my fitness, food, and join groups. I have been using the site for almost two years! Anyway, my sister is going to check in on my food diaries and knowing that at any point in time a person can look, helps me feel more accountable. Also, don't be afraid to ever ask me how I'm doing. That helps a lot too. With all that being said, I tried a new recipe and figured the calories out after I made my adjustments! (If you are on or join sparkpeople, add me- it's my first name underscore 2004 aka my e-mail address without the @hotmail.com, you can also put this information in when you create an account to tell them who referred you.)
The recipe I am highlighting today is from the Hungry Girl 200 Under 200 cookbook. I made the Big Fat Blueberry Muffins with some modifications. First of all, the recipe claims to make 6 muffins. I am pretty sure I am using an antique muffin tin to bake in. I do not know if the tin makes smaller muffins or if I just had extra batter? Either way I ended up making 8 muffins, which means each muffin is just a few less calories than what is suggested in the cookbook. The recipe also called for sugar free maple syrup. Without thinking, I used Walde
n Farms Maple Syrup. This product is sugar free, calorie free, just about anything you can think of free. When I accidentally doubled the amount, it didn't matter. However, most sugar free syrups have 35 calories in a 1/4 Cup serving and those calories were cut out. I know this seems small, but it was enough to make my muffins come in at 99 calories. So forget all those cutsie 100 calorie pack muffins you see at the store, just make your own!
n Farms Maple Syrup. This product is sugar free, calorie free, just about anything you can think of free. When I accidentally doubled the amount, it didn't matter. However, most sugar free syrups have 35 calories in a 1/4 Cup serving and those calories were cut out. I know this seems small, but it was enough to make my muffins come in at 99 calories. So forget all those cutsie 100 calorie pack muffins you see at the store, just make your own!The muffins tasted great. At first they were a little tricky to get out of the liner, but after they cooled, they came out a lot nicer. I was happy with the end product and LOVE having a piece of breakfast I can eat on the go! Speaking of breakfast, I paired my muffin with Kellogg's 19 cereal. Has anyone tried this? I thought it tasted good and LOVED that it had almost as many vitamins and minerals as my vitamin! Oh and speaking of 100 calories, 1 full cup is only 100 calories! I couldn't find many other cereals that were the same calorie and nutrition wise.
If you would like the recipe for the muffin straight from Hungry Girl, click here: http://www.hungry-girl.com/chew/chewdetails.php?isid=1552
Keep in mind the two modifications I made if you want a muffin under 100 calories. Even just following the Hungry Girl Recipe, the muffin is 137 calories.
P.S. in the background is a sneak peek of a newly painted wall in our house!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Nightmare
Last night I went to bed pretty late, like around midnight. I woke up in nearly a cold sweat from a terrible nightmare! I haven't looked up the meaning yet, because I'm a little nervous what I will find out. If you are sensitive to your own nightmares or scary movies, you should probably just skip reading this. Seriously, if this was someone else's post, I wouldn't be able to read it without getting my own nightmares. Movies, stories, etc. easily leave an impression though. With that warning - here is the dream...
I am at work and 4 different people (I know one was my supervisor, one was the office manager, one was someone more corporate, and one was one of my team members) didn't communicate about hiring an intern. As a result we hired 8 interns. After the staff meeting I left to drive to one of my communities. The community I drove to was Hungry Horse, Montana. (Yep, not even the state I live in or a place I have spent a lot of time). I started driving and at some point debated whether to stop for breakfast (I was starving), but was worried the intern would get lost trying to follow me. When I got their, I got out of my car. For some reason the intern (one intern) I had chosen to come with me rode separate. He got out of his car and I noticed that several cars pulled up behind him. At this point I realize the other 7 interns misunderstood and came with! I still needed to work my community and was able to secure some housing for the evening. We were able to stay at this house that is usually used for like church groups or other groups when they go on a retreat. At one point the male intern was up in a tree eating peanuts. (This seemed completely normal in my dream, he was on like a wooden platform, but not quite a tree house.) Anyway, he was later dead and the locals deduced his death to a raccoon eating him. (Seriously, a raccoon...a killer raccoon.) We were all puzzled, but complete strangers. There was a feeling of sadness and everyone was solemn. A couple hours later I heard a girl (an intern) screaming and thrashing. I grabbed another girl (one of the seven remaining interns) and approached the girl in distress who was on top of a bunk bed. Another intern was strangling her! We were helpless, but ran to get help and save our own rears. As we were running, we saw the killer intern had seduced another mail intern and was taking him back inside to meet his fate. Somewhere in here is where I realized the girl was possessed and a killer raccoon had not killed the original male intern. The crazy possessed girl was killing everyone.
I woke up and was completely freaked out! I usually try to shelter myself from scary things. I know they give me nightmares, but I really didn't watch anything to spark this crazy nightmare. The other thing is -0n the scale of scariness ghosts and goblins are fairly low. Anything to do with good and evil or the devil really scares me. I woke the hubby up when I was laying there scared. I was relieved to see light coming in through the windows, so I knew it was later in the morning. A few years ago I got suckered into watching the Exorcism of Emily Rose. The part of the movie where they discussed the time of night where the devil makes a mockery of Christianity, still scares me. I was so relieved it wasn't that time when I woke up. When the husband left the room to use the restroom, I had to verbally say, "Jesus loves me". Like somehow if there was anything bad in the room, it needed to know God was stronger and my faith was stronger. I sang Jesus Love Me in my head and was able to fall back asleep.
I dislike having nightmares because they just kind of hang with me all day. I haven't really told anyone about my nightmare, I don't want to verbalize it. Somehow writing it down on my blog only makes me sort of edgy, nervous, etc. It's just such a screwed up nightmare. Icky. I hope tonight I have much sweeter dreams.
I am at work and 4 different people (I know one was my supervisor, one was the office manager, one was someone more corporate, and one was one of my team members) didn't communicate about hiring an intern. As a result we hired 8 interns. After the staff meeting I left to drive to one of my communities. The community I drove to was Hungry Horse, Montana. (Yep, not even the state I live in or a place I have spent a lot of time). I started driving and at some point debated whether to stop for breakfast (I was starving), but was worried the intern would get lost trying to follow me. When I got their, I got out of my car. For some reason the intern (one intern) I had chosen to come with me rode separate. He got out of his car and I noticed that several cars pulled up behind him. At this point I realize the other 7 interns misunderstood and came with! I still needed to work my community and was able to secure some housing for the evening. We were able to stay at this house that is usually used for like church groups or other groups when they go on a retreat. At one point the male intern was up in a tree eating peanuts. (This seemed completely normal in my dream, he was on like a wooden platform, but not quite a tree house.) Anyway, he was later dead and the locals deduced his death to a raccoon eating him. (Seriously, a raccoon...a killer raccoon.) We were all puzzled, but complete strangers. There was a feeling of sadness and everyone was solemn. A couple hours later I heard a girl (an intern) screaming and thrashing. I grabbed another girl (one of the seven remaining interns) and approached the girl in distress who was on top of a bunk bed. Another intern was strangling her! We were helpless, but ran to get help and save our own rears. As we were running, we saw the killer intern had seduced another mail intern and was taking him back inside to meet his fate. Somewhere in here is where I realized the girl was possessed and a killer raccoon had not killed the original male intern. The crazy possessed girl was killing everyone.
I woke up and was completely freaked out! I usually try to shelter myself from scary things. I know they give me nightmares, but I really didn't watch anything to spark this crazy nightmare. The other thing is -0n the scale of scariness ghosts and goblins are fairly low. Anything to do with good and evil or the devil really scares me. I woke the hubby up when I was laying there scared. I was relieved to see light coming in through the windows, so I knew it was later in the morning. A few years ago I got suckered into watching the Exorcism of Emily Rose. The part of the movie where they discussed the time of night where the devil makes a mockery of Christianity, still scares me. I was so relieved it wasn't that time when I woke up. When the husband left the room to use the restroom, I had to verbally say, "Jesus loves me". Like somehow if there was anything bad in the room, it needed to know God was stronger and my faith was stronger. I sang Jesus Love Me in my head and was able to fall back asleep.
I dislike having nightmares because they just kind of hang with me all day. I haven't really told anyone about my nightmare, I don't want to verbalize it. Somehow writing it down on my blog only makes me sort of edgy, nervous, etc. It's just such a screwed up nightmare. Icky. I hope tonight I have much sweeter dreams.
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