Thesis...Defended

I just defended my thesis.  Leading up to the presentation I wanted to either pee my pants or vomit.  I was literally on the verge of shaking.  Here is the play by play (this is for me to remember in the future, feel free to skip past what I said for a shortened version of this post)...

1.) I was the first on the call at 5 minutes prior which made me super nervous.  Finally, others started to join and chat.  I was amazed at what people didn't know, like whether we were allowed to use first person language, how long we were suppose to present, whether they would be questioned, etc.  In fact, one of the females started to kind of rag on her advisor. I chimed in and reminded everyone their advisors could be on the phone call and to be honest, I think they were.

2.) Five minutes after when we were suppose to start, the faculty joined the call.  At this point we realized there was a loud buzzing and everyone had to hang up and call back.  There was still a buzzing so the faculty changed rooms. We ended up starting 15 minutes late.

3.) When they finally took role there was one person who no-showed! Which is insanity.  One of the faculty started the defense by explaining this was really a celebration.  This is a little funny to me, because I have been to a lot of celebrations and never felt this nervous! One of the students  told everyone on the call she was not prepared at all.  Apparently, she didn't prepare her speech for this so-called celebration. There was one person who went before me and she didn't even tell us the name of her thesis or what she did.  She sort of got nailed for that when they got to question her.

4.) When it came to my turn, this is what I said...
Good afternoon, title of my thesis project is: Communication: Perception, Projection, and Personal Peace. I would like to begin by thanking my advisor HC and my mentor AS.


The concept of integrating communication and personal peace was inspired by Gandhi’s quote you must be the change you want to see in the world. I recognized that if I wanted to make a change in feeling at peace in my environment, it had to start with me. I also realized that understanding the connection between perception, projection, and personal peace was crucial. Ultimately, I chose a project because I wanted to give this topic as much reach as possible. I decided a course curriculum would be the way to satisfy this desire to educate people on interpersonal communication and how it relates to personal peace.

The goal of this project was to study both personal peace and communication and determine how they were connected. After reviewing this literature, the curriculum was created.

This study and corresponding curriculum is important because it stands to serve individuals by offering them increased personal peace through ethical practice and greater understanding of interpersonal communications.

To lay the groundwork for this project, it is important to understand a few terms. The first term is perception which was considered to be the way we perceive or take in the world around us. Projection is the attribution of one’s own attitudes, feelings, or suppositions to others according to Pickett. Personal peace was thought of in terms of the feelings or calmness that arises out of being content with ones actions.

To gather a better understanding of the topics guiding this project, I referred to several literary works. Naturally, I wanted to support this thesis project and ground it in a theoretical base. I chose two theories, Existential Theory by Carl Rogers and Blumer’s Symbolic Interactionism Theory. Rogers stated that the behavior of the human organism may be determined by the influences to which it has been exposed, but it may also be determined by the creative and integrative insight of the organism itself. This ability of the person to discover new meaning in the forces which impinge upon him and in the past experiences which have been controlling him, and the ability to consciously alter his behavior in the light of the new meaning, has a profound significance. The significance of Rogers proposition is especially interesting when studying the relation of how we perceive information, project information and have the ability to alter our perception or projection to increase our personal peace. The second theory was Symbolic Interactionsim. Blumer described his theory by noting that it rests in the analysis of three premises. One was that human beings act on things on the basis of the meanings that the things have for them. The second is that the meaning of such things is derived from or arises out of the social interaction. The third premise is that these meanings are handled in and modified through an interpretive process used by the person in dealing with the things they encounter. Specifically the things that Blumer was describing were people or institutions. We can take this theory and look closer at our actions in relation to how we perceive the world around us and project our thoughts, feelings, or attitudes. By taking a closer look at these actions we can analyze what we can do to potentially increase our own personal peace.

Regarding perception there was one piece of information I found particularly interesting. According to the Journal of Positive Psychology the more abstractly people tend to view important aspects of their lives, the more satisfying they tended to rate their lives. Regarding Projection the most interesting part was discovering more about how Freud viewed projection which was to view it as a way for an organism to manage internal stimuli that threatens quiescence or peace. One of the ways projection can be manage is through ethical communication. When it came to personal peace I thought that a parable from Buddha put everything together. That parable said better than a speech of a thousand vain words is one thoughtful word which brings peace to the mind. One of the reasons this was so profound to me was it connected really well with Aristotle’s concept of being in a contented state of happiness in accordance with virtue and one can not be at peace, unless they have virtue. In regard to creating a course curriculum Kirkwood’s work pointed out that individuals need to be taught to develop their emotional capacities just as they are taught math or science. Just as critical thinking is taught as part of argumentation so too something like ‘educated feeling’ would seem to fall to rhetoric in so far as pathos is a major element in argumentation, public speaking, persuasion, and rhetorical analysis.

To create a new course there were a few questions to be considered that I drew from the book teaching communication: Theory, Research, and Methods. This course is new in the sense it takes an interpersonal communication course and focuses on personal peace. The curriculum is intended for students who are just beginning to learn about the field of communication on college or university campus. The role of the teacher is to facilitate the course curriculum and encourage students to engage in dialogue that will leave an impression that reaches far beyond the classroom. The course is a skills based course which includes several opportunities for discussion that will encourage students to recognize their relevant communication processes and phenomena in their own relationships and interactions are hopefully prepared to be skilled communicators through better recognition, analysis, and response to daily situations. Using the Rogers theory the learner is as the center of the education and encouraged to draw upon their personal experiences to better understand the concepts presented. Symbolic Interactionism also discussed the idea of learners gathering information through interaction. The course tackled this interaction through group work, dialogue, and collaboration with members of their community.

The course was broken into four modules. One focuses on Communication, one on perception, one on projection, and one on personal peace. Students complete writing prompts such as describing how a topic relates to current events or personal situations, write an ethical dilemma paper, complete a group project on the perceptions of students on campus regarding a current event, write a disclosure research paper and present the information, participate in numerous class discussions and activities, complete tests, and write a final paper that combines all of the information they have learned. The course text is Understanding Interpersonal Communication: Making Choices in Changing Times by West and Turner. This text spoke to the heart of the curriculum.

This project will hopefully serve as a springboard for future research and evaluation. Ideally this course curriculum will be presented and revised by individual educators based on student feedback and further refinement. I hope this thesis project adds to the field of communication and can possibly have a positive impact on our world.

5.) After my presentation which lasted just over 8 minutes, I was open for questions.  One of the faculty who is actually my academic advisor asked me to further explain projection and how psychology and communication were expanded on in this project.  I was able to explain this and had actually expected this question.  The next question was from the head of the department who asked where I got this topic from and whether I had discussed my work with any universities to see if they were interested in my curriculum.  Fortunately, I had talked to an old professor who was really excited about my work and was able to speak to that.  Finally, another faculty member started suggesting local universities who might be interested in my curriculum!  I was very flattered by this.
 
6.) That's it, that's what I went through. I think it went fairly well, but I still feel jitters in my stomach.  Now I get to hang out on the call for another hour and listen to other student's defend.  I think I sounded confident and well versed.  I am still in shock that I just defended my thesis. This is so surreal!

P.S. At the end of the call, all of the faculty clapped and cheered for us. I felt like a million bucks! It was so awesome!

Counting my blessings

I was thinking tonight that I have had so many things I wanted to post on Facebook the past couple days.  I always hesitate to post, because if it is about work, I don't want to leave someone out or chose favorites.  So, I decided to share some of my blessings:
1.) I had a great committee meeting last night. I work with phenomenal volunteers.
2.) I had a good committee meeting tonight.  I presented some not so pretty statistics and I think my volunteers are rising to the challenge. I'm impressed.
3.) I had the best meal I have had all month, made by a committee member...and I have the recipe!
4.) I've gotten to talk to my sister the past couple days, as I've been driving home or in between crazy moments at work. She's listened to me be so moody this week. I've complained, I've whined, and she's been supportive and such a good balance. I am so thankful to have a sibling who is so understanding and compassionate.
5.) I came home after a 12 hour day at work for the second day in a row, to find my husband had gone grocery shopping! He did a great job! He bought fresh fruit, vegetables, and made healthy choices. I was so proud of his choices and so pleased to have him taking care of me! I know grocery shopping should be a priority, but I just haven't had time.  I am so fortunate to be married to someone who is so thoughtful, so kind, and so loving!

Defeat: 2; N: 0

Even though I said I was done being defeated, I'd be lieing if I said it hasn't been difficult.  Two nights in a row I have found myself feeling defeated for one reason or another. Tonight is a reoccurring issue.  I see something inside myself that I just feel like no one else sees.  It's so frustrating and feels like a constant fight with the rest of the world to prove who I am.  The worst part is I have this rebellious streak that thinks, well if you think/say/do that, then I'll just continue x behavior to prove you wrong.  I'm also upset because the thing I feel like I'm proving to the world, I used to really believe and now I question.  Which leads me to wonder if no one else sees what's inside of me, because I don't see it any longer.  Ugh...defeat. I know I can work through anything, I just underestimated how challenging anything can be.  I have tomorrow off and am hoping to sleep in and wake up feeling less defeated. 

Poll

I love to read people's success stories. I was reading one yesterday and have been thinking about one of the main points in the story. The person said something to the effect of, "eating, brushing my teeth, sleeping, etc. are non negotiables in day-to-day life, so why should exercise be negotiable?"  I want to know...what are your thoughts? Do you agree? Is this how you view exercise? 
It's a different perspective than what I have heard before, there are no right or wrong answers, I'm just purely curious what your view points are.  Also, I'd encourage you to comment before reading other people's comments. I want to know your unique response. If you comment and then want to go back and read other comments and comment back, feel free. I look forward to reading your thoughts.

Mojo back?

Today was day two that I decided to start eating better again. I did good yesterday and I did well today.  I decided to keep track with Weight Watchers.  Partially because I can do it with one of my relatives and also because I have all of the tools.  I also like not being restricted.  I was proud of myself yesterday because we went out for dinner and I didn't like what I ordered. Normally, I would have ate it anyway, because I feel guilty not eating it. Not yesterday.  I didn't eat it and I didn't take any to go.  I was very content with my decision and empowered!  Today I had lunch at TGI Fridays. I tried to make a decent decision on what I ordered.  I did pretty good overall. This evening we went for a 40 minute walk.  It feels good to be back to taking care of me.  I just decided I wasn't going to let anything defeat me.  I have discovered I am a resilient person and I started this weight loss journey quite a while ago, I just made a pit stop. So after resting, I am continuing on my journey.  I also like the new Weight Watcher program because you can eat fruit and veggies when you are hungry.  They have a points value of zero.  I am able to stay within my points range easily most days, even eating out. Anyway, cheers to having my mojo back!

Thesis Update

I have a lot of editing still to do, but am EXCITED beyond words after an e-mail I received today. The program's administrative staff e-mailed me today to schedule orals! I was nervous because I had not received a date, time, e-mail, etc. about this.  You have to be selected for orals to complete the thesis.  I thought that maybe because it had taken me a little longer in different points that they would make me wait a whole semester to complete my thesis.  This is a huge weight off my shoulders! For this evening, I am just excited beyond words.  I am sure I will get nervous as the date looms, but for tonight I am so happy.

I mentioned this in my last post (I think), but here is what my mentor said about my work:

Hi N, it looks really good to me. Very impressive work in such a short time. Great going! I concentrated on the appendix materials for this work as I think you've already responded to all of The Advisor's comments.
One change - you need to type "Gandhi" not "Ghandi." (**okay, this is N typing, I ALWAYS make this error, lol...must learn to spell Gandhi!**) Also, I think your appendix and materials are really very thorough. I'm quite impressed with the amount of work you've done in that - it really does look like a very good and thorough thesis. I am quite confident in your ability to be able to market this course to a college. You might want to think of a way in which you could tailor this course to an online/remote audience, as that might improve your chances of getting this course accepted by a college.

Thanks, and I look forward to seeing your finalized thesis,

My Mentor
 
Anyway, I am pumped to work on my thesis, this was just the boost I needed. Thesis, rock on.

In my part of the world

In my wonderful corner of the world I have today off! I slept in, then was pleasantly surprised to see my sister call (I expected it to be work), listened to the birds chirp, and just snuggled under the blankets.  When I got up I actually had time to eat breakfast.  I've been drinking Slim Fast shakes just to have something on my way out the door and eating protein bars for lunch, just to eat real quick.  I am so ecstatic that I have a free day to leisurely shower, workout, go grocery shopping, etc.  I was telling my sister that I can't remember the last time I showered and wasn't in a rush to get somewhere.  Today I can actually take the time to, oh, I don't know...shave?! Yay! Funny how the little things in life matter. I also have not been grocery shopping in a couple weeks.  I love living life, but I also love having time to do little things that matter.
Last night one of my volunteers shared with me he had lost 80 lbs. I was so impressed. It makes my 65 look small. Since I met him, I always thought he was just "born small".  I was inspired. He has a difficult job as a case worker and I figure if he can lose 80 lbs, so can I.  As I make my grocery list, I am keeping this mind. I know what to do, I just need to value myself and my time enough to do it.
I was also pleasantly surprised when I came home from work late last night to find my advisor and mentor had both sent me feedback for my thesis project. I expected to be put off for a while, so to have less than 24 hour turn around is so impressive. I plan to work on editing this afternoon.  I also want to work out, maybe do Zumba or another video or go for a nice long walk. My workout equipment is currently blocked as that area has a new piece of equipment under construction! The dear husband has been putting together a brand new home gym...thanks Uncle Sam for the tax return and WalMart for everyday low prices...sometimes.
I was going to title my blog, the funny things in N's Wonderful World, but then I couldn't remember the funny things I wanted to share. I can remember two. One is that as I was looking in the bathroom mirror this morning, I thought I could see someone off to my right. I sort of jumped in shock. I realized it was a piece of my hair...yep. I have crazy bed head when I wake up and my hair is all over until I brush it, apparently it's pretty scary.  Also, speaking of my thesis feedback, I had to borrow the dear hubby's computer while I was sans laptop.  Apparently, my advisor looks at the track changes features a lot because she asked me, "Who is Jbug?" in the comments section of my thesis. I laughed out loud.  That's the hubby's nick name that only I refer to him as.  I was slightly embarrassed and am not sure where it is appropriate to answer that question, in the Blackboard column, in an e-mail, etc.  I'm sure she is just checking to make sure it's all my original work.  Either way, when you are naming your computer, you may want to steer clear of funny nicknames if you will be tracking changes. 
Okay, I am off to enjoy the rest of my day! Yay time for blogging and loving life!